Every time I come back to write here is like turning to a quiet lover that waits indefinitely to a busy me that once had promised to write here often (the first and most important request for whoever attempts on blogging). But then life happened in so many ways and that “often” became a broken promise. My Indian Balinese guru had told me: “You have the wind as your element. You go everywhere fast and travel a lot with your mind and body. You’ll struggle for stability and regularity always but being windy is also so beautiful.”
An Indian guru once told me “You are planning too much your life. Let it flow.” I told her that otherwise I wouldn’t have met her. “We would have met anyway.” she replied.
From all that long conversation I had with her, it was the only thing I couldn’t agree. For me it was essential to dream at something and than to plan for it. I’ve always had agendas and notebooks and I even had my pleasant morning coffee moment with looking ahead.
I usually write on the last day of the year my resolutions for the next one, those desires I believe or hope can come true for the months to come. They are a row of ten and at the end of the year I check them again to see how many were accomplished.
My son was first on my last year list and I’m happy the Universe replied. This year is different, as now I have him playing in my belly and almost all my thoughts go towards those movements of life. I believe babies come with pure energy, innocence and light and I think every birth is a blessing and a gift for the world.
During my twenties and my early thirties I was not a motherhood craver. I was more longing for long distance trips, art and having wonderful people around. My friends got married one by one and had children. I loved to be a guest at weddings and dance freely till dawn. And I loved their beautiful kids. And secretly enjoyed the fact that they were theirs not mine.
So here I am, turning 35 and thinking about all the flashing moments from the path that brought me here: alive, healthy and smiling.
If I should cast a 35 years episode it should unfold on the Danube than on the streets of Bucharest and the last part should be behind Italian art and on the Mediterranean shores.
The most challenging step if you feel the drive for a life change is choosing what to do and where to shift. Before making any further plan, you must arrive to point the finger on what you desire most to do. This is the most important step, if you perform it well the rest is mainly logistics and circumstances.